Total Drama Legendary Competition Island
by Knight of the Dimensions
Summary: What made the legendaries the worst and cruelest hosts in the world? A game show that affected them mentally, physically and emotionally. See as the legendaries go head to head on this game show hosted by Arceus and Giratina as they experience hate, love, pain, torture and best yet...drama in general! All here on Total Drama Legendary Competition Island. Collaboration story
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, this story is a group written story about the legendaries when they first competed on a game show that shaped them the way they are. You will see how even legendaries can be greatly affected a simple game show that was meant to torture them all to win a ton of cash. The pain, the drama, romance, hearts broken, and best of all, absolute chaos.**

**Hi, Knight here or many of you have known me as Kavi, I accept either name, hope you readers enjoy this collaboration story between me, DarkArcanine33 and SuperDaikenki. **

**DA33 - Leggo! SD, the disclaimer please…**

**SD - We do not own the Pokemon franchise, only Pokemon we "own" are the ones that we battle and or breed with….as well as any possible OCs that would make an appearance.**

**000000**

_In a world, where insane game show hosts__take thirty four teenagers on the worst experience of their lives all for the grand prize of one billion poke, the chaos will be unleashed!_

**000000**

"Hello one and all! And welcome to our series Total Pokemon Legendary Island!" stated a white and gray horse-like Pokemon. She had green eyes with red pupils, and a gold ring- like arch around her body . "I am your host Arceus."

"And I am the other host", a lizard like-dragon stated grumpily. He had a black and red striped chest with a gray body that ended with six legs and shadowy wings with red claws. He had a gold mouth with piercing red eyes.

"Giry, I know you don't want to be here, but it should give us more...alone time."

"How? If we have to host?"

"They're smart enough to handle things after we tell them..."

Giratina gave her a look.

"Okay, maybe we'll have to watch them from the hall, but at least we'll be alone..."

Giratina sighed. "Fine."

With that, Arceus continued.

"Here, we'll be having majority of the legendaries competing on this luxurious island-"

"That we got from threatening an old Alakazam living on the side of a road."

Arceus' eyes widened as the camera shut off.

**-000000-**

"That we found out here in the middle of nowhere", Giratina said deadpan with a now noticeable bruise on his chest.

"That's better..."

"You and your reputation... " he mumbled bitterly.

"Keep it up and you sleep in the Distortion World tonight", Arceus threatened.

Giratina groaned. "Fine."

"Good boy…" she commented, kissing his cheek. "Now, let's tell them all the news."

**000000**

Back at the Hall…

"Hey you piece of shit! Gimme that back!" Darkrai yelled as he fired a Shadow Ball towards Victini, who was carrying a journal.

Victini dodged it and passed by Keldeo and Genesect, who were playing with lasers.

"Keldeo! Catch!" Victini exclaimed as he threw the journal towards the pony.

"Alright, Darkrai keep away!" Keldeo cheered as he caught the book in his mouth.

Darkrai growled and turned back towards Victini before using Dark Void on all three of them, making them all drop, asleep.

"Braindead idiots…." he muttered as he reached for his journal, only for it to be teleported away.

He growled out in anger.

In the short chaotic moment, in a room nearby, a certain black latios was very careful building something. More specifically, making a chemical as he held a vial of blue liquid, too much and who knew what could go wrong.

"Just...one...more...drop," Kavi said to himself as he slowly turned the vial.

BOOM!

Kavi jumped at the sudden explosion, spilling the vial on a table, causing it to crackle and then explode in his face.

He smashed the vial in his claw and growled angrily as he flew to the source of the explosion, the kitchen.

"Damn them whoever made that explosion!" Kavi growled on his way to the kitchen with his face completely covered in soot.

"That would be me!" Hoopa spoke proudly before disappearing into a gold-ringed portal.

"I swear I will kill her…" Kavi muttered before chocolate splattered on his face now

"Oops...sorry Kavi. I kinda went too fast on the mixer," the innocent voice of Phione spoke as Kavi sighed before floating away

In the living room, the Eon Duo, Latios and Latias were sitting on the couch watching television out of boredom. Well Latias was, Latios was actually reading a book in amusement.

"Sound's like they're at it again brother." Latias said flipping through the channels

"Everyday, never fails," Latios nodded as Kavi floated in and sat on the couch

"What happened to you?" Latias questioned

"Hoopa, enough said," Kavi replied wiping the chocolate and soot off his face with a towel

"Honestly, I don't know why we found her…"

"Maybe because she kidnapped most of us...twice?"

Kavi just groaned and laid against the couch as the wall behind the TV exploded, taking said TV with it.

"For fucks sake!" Latias shouted.

Nearby, Mew tossed Mewtwo's ray gun back to him. "Oops..." he said sheepishly.

"MEW! WHAT THE HELL?!"

"It was his fault!" Mew exclaimed, pointing to Mewtwo.

"What are you talking about? You were the one who fired it!"

"Mew….Mewtwo...I will-!"

"Yell at us?" asked Mew. "Get Rayquaza on us?"

"And...why would she do that?" asked a voice.

Mew and Mewtwo turned around and saw the large green serpent glaring down at them.

"Sweetie, they destroyed the TV…AGAIN!" Zygarde shouted

"Oh what the hell!" Rayquaza exclaimed. "That's the twenty-first one this week!"

"Hey, not all of those breaking were our fault…"

"Yeah...I seem to remember you being responsible for five of them breaking…" said Mewtwo.

Rayquaza growled softly.

"Yeah, so...can you beat them up for me?" asked Latias. "Please…"

"Um...why don't I just do this-" Mew said, snapping his fingers, making another television appear in place of the now destroyed one. "There, all fixed."

However, Volcanion felt through the roof and onto the new one, breaking it. He chuckled, ignoring the pain he knew he had.

"You gotta be kidding…" Kavi groaned.

"Um...how did you even-"

"High pressure is a bitch", said Volcanion, laughing.

"That was awesome and all but...why?" asked Entei, who was on the roof with Raikou and Regirock.

"I just had to!" Volcanion explained vaguely.

Latias growled and used Mist Ball, sending the steam engine lion through the wall and into the kitchen.

"Sheesh, someone's cranky…" said Latios as he continued reading again.

Kavi grabbed his book and ripped it in half before giving it back.

"WHAT THE HELL YOU PRICK?!"

"Now who's cranky?" asked Latias.

Latios growled before flying out of the living room and heading back towards his room to get another book.

Near his room, majority of the female legends, aside from Latias, Diancie, Zygarde, and Hoopa, were inside of Virizion's room.

"Okay, who do you think will get the hints first?"

"Um...majority of the guys are idiots...so I really doubt that most of them will get it and understand…" said Virizion.

"I swear Diancie wouldn't put up with this crap…" Xerneas said.

"She's one of the singles...and she doesn't hang around that much...she's a princess after all…" Virizion replied

"So since Diancie is a princess, we should pair her with a prince….as in Manaphy?" asked Kyogre.

"Oh please, I sincerely doubt either would have time for a relationship", Celebi stated. "She has responsibilities and Manaphy has Phione…"

"You'll never know, crazy things have happened over the years." Kyogre said

"Like Registeel trying to murder Regigigas for no reason?" Jirachi asked, eyeing the steel legend.

"I hate that lazy asshole!" Registeel exclaimed. "He's supposed to be a leader of us, yet he doesn't do shit but sleep. I hate male dominance enough already...but LAZY MALE?! Uh uh…"

"Hey, its not his fault that he couldn't get it going." Virizion said laughing.

"...shut up", Registeel said, blushing as she folded her arms.

"Well, we all know Victini's not gonna get my hints…" Jirachi mumbled, folding her arms.

"You are still attracted to Dick-tini?" Kyogre asked "I really don't understand you sometimes…"

"FYI Kyogre, he is not that bad if you get to know his sensitive side!"

"His stupid ability...that is far from sensitive…." growled the Sea Basin Pokemon

"Well then maybe I like bad boys…." Jirachi said with a smirk.

"You want bad, trying dealing with Yveltal…" groaned Articuno. "Always death and destruction with that bird."

"Well we can't really die per say….unless you count that one time with Celebi...and Latios….and if you can count Arceus….who almost died that one time." Lugia added

"No, real bad is my Darky…" Cresselia chimed in with a smile. "He's the baddest boy I know…"

Suicune hadn't said a word, which Virizion took notice to.

"So...have you chosen who you want to be with?" asked Virizion. "Or do insist on still...y'know."

"Keldeo and Raikou are the ones I'm still attracted too", Suicune stated. "Keldeo is just funny and goofy, while Raikou is just….Raikou."

"Wait, since Ho-Oh created you, Entei, and Raikou, would that make you Ho-Oh's kids?"

"For the last time, that's a misconception", Suicune growled. "Mesprit, Azelf, and Uxie were born together, but you don't say anything to them!"

"Plus, they were completely different parts that Ho-Oh reincarnated, so...Ho-Oh is just their 'leader'", Celebi added. "Thus, they're not biologically related at all."

"If only Deoxys wasn't away…." Suicune groaned. "Then she'd be able to explain everything."

"Yeah, but anyways, back to the guys…" said Kyogre. "Virizion, you still into Kavi?"

"Of course!" Virizion exclaimed. "It's either him or Cobalion. And I'm definitely not going to Cobalion. He's supposed to be our leader, but he sucks at everything!"

"And he blames everything on some 'curse'", said Celebi. "It's pathetic…"

"IT'S NOT MY FAULT!" they all heard.

"COBALION! FUCK OFF!" Virizion exclaimed.

They all heard a growl and padding away.

"Definitely Kavi…" Virizion said.

"Understandable…"

"Mew's nice", said Mesprit. "A bit sheepish and idiotic at times, but he means well."

"He hangs with Victini too much…" said Azelf, folding her arms. "Soon enough he'll end up just like him."

"I'd never considering going out with him unless he shows me maturity", said Celebi, folding her arms.

"What about Tornadus?" asked Moltres.

"Just Tornadus?" asked Kyogre. "Meh…"

"We all know about you and Groudon's escapades, so you don't have to say anything."

Kyogre rolled her eyes.

"ALL LEGENDS PLEASE REPORT TO THE MAIN HALL!"

"I wonder what she wants", said Virizion.

**000000**

The legendaries made it the the hall of origin's center

"A few of you are missing…." Arceus stated as Terrakion and Heatran walked in.

"You're late!"

"Sorry Arceus…Your greatness and lord to us all", said Terrakion.

"I know I'm god and all, but you are not kissing my ass like that."

"Sorry…"

"Alright what do you and the devil want?" asked Kyurem. "You're wasting my time...as usual."

"Well...we have decided to put majority of you guys on a game show," Arceus stated.

"Hosted by us of course," Giratina added.

"What? I can barely stand some people here, in fact, no offense, I can barely stand anyone here. I have to deal with issues in multiple dimensions and fix everyone's problems?! Fuck no!" Kavi retorted floating away.

"There's a grand prize of cash," both godly Pokemon replied.

"Damn," Kavi groaned floating back.

"Wait, where did you get the-"

"I'm God bitch! Don't question me!" Arceus shouted, making majority of the legends flinch.

"Must be that time of the month…." Palkia whispered to Entei, making him chuckle.

A few of the other girls heard him, however, and glared at him.

"Now, this game show will determine which of you can be responsible enough to watch over the Hall whenever Giry and I decide to...take a vacation…" Arceus explained.

"So...this is basically a competition for you two to decide who'll take over the hall when you two feel like screwing each other to the extreme?" asked Darkrai, folding his arms.

"...Thanks for putting it in 'layman terms', asshole…" said Giratina.

"Hey, you two are the ones who are being assholes!" Groudon stated. "Trying to put us on a dumb game show just for your damn booty calls…"

"As well as money; and excuse me, but how many times have any of you been walked in on?" asked Giratina.

"Well...let's see-"

"By US", he emphasized.

"Oh...then none", said Cresselia.

"Exactly, yet it seems that every...single...time...WE decide to have fun...we get interrupted by you guys' problems…" Arceus explained.

"So...consider this payback and a reward…" Giratina said with a devilish smirk.

"Well, you can't make us do anything, so...hah!" Latios laughed.

"Oh can't we?" asked Arceus with a smirk.

Almost all of the legends looked at each other nervously.

**000**

Almost all of the legends were teleported to the island.

"Ya had to ask…" Ho-Oh said, glaring at Latios.

"Hey...why aren't Zygarde, Diancie, Phione, and Regis here, too?!" Rayquaza exclaimed.

"Because...Zygarde is orderly, Diancie still has other responsibilities, we're not putting a child in harm's way, and if the Regis had a chance...things go very bad…"

"Yet you brought the failure…" said Mewtwo, gesturing to Cobalion.

"Fuck you!" Cobalion growled.

"Heatran would...or Terrakion", Victini stated.

"NO!" both of them exclaimed simultaneously.

"Wow...even two gays don't want any part of you…" said Kyurem. "That's gotta damage your self-esteem."

"I'm not gay anyway you cold-hearted bastard!"

"-He says full of confidence…" Zekrom joked.

"Why you-"

"Enough!" Arceus shouted. "Now, the game's rules are simple…"

"Sure…" Thundurus said, rolling his eyes.

"I swear, all of you guys are just complaining like little bitches…" said Suicune.

"Says the main bitch herself…" Entei growled.

"Hey, don't talk to Suicune like that", Raikou said, glaring at him.

"TACOS!" Keldeo exclaimed.

"Seriously….what do you see in him?" Celebi whispered

"He means well...it's just-"

"The stereotypical relationship in which the 'smoking hot' chick falls for the complete and total idiot…" Landorus piped in.

"Bullshit!" Suicune shouted

"Oh yeah, then why does Keldeo collect toy leaves?" asked Shaymin.

"Who doesn't have a collection?" Suicune asked

"You're defending him mighty hard…" Entei said with a smirk. "Is there anything you wanna tell Raikou-"

"Shut up!" Suicune shouted

"Tell me...what?" asked Raikou, looking at Suicune.

"ANYWAYS..." Arceus shouted, regaining their attention. "We're gonna split you into two teams...and you all will compete in numerous challenges. The challenges will all be painful and idiotic in their own ways, and at the end...one team will win."

"What happens if your team loses?" asked Manaphy, raising an arm.

"We were getting to that", said Giratina. "If your team loses, you will have to go to the dining area, which is inside of that castle on the far side. There, you will find paper on the table. You will use the paper to write the name of the person you want to LEAVE."

"Oh, can I just vote myself?!" asked Kyurem.

"Shut up", said Giratina. "Now, if you have the most votes, you're eliminated and we'll send you back to the Hall to watch."

"Oh...that seems fair", said Shaymin.

"Through our way of transportation, the Rocket of Shame!" Arceus announced, showing them the rocket.

"What the hell!?" Virizion shouted.

"Hey, we said it was gonna be painful…" said Giratina.

"You didn't mention rocket launchers!" Azelf exclaimed.

"Oh, now look who's whining", said Zapdos.

"That's a really big rocket," Articuno shivered.

"It sure is…" said Volcanion with a smile.

"Now, it's about time that we put you into teams…" said Giratina.

"Um...can we choose our teammates?" asked Hoopa. "I don't wanna be stuck with the slackers who don't give a fuck…"

"Why do most of you give a fuck anyway?!" Darkrai exclaimed. "It may be money, but we can get our own money easily by beating the shit out of those random trainers' Pokemon…"

"Um...humans no longer exist in this world…" said Arceus.

"WHAT?!" almost all of the legends exclaimed.

"Hey, we don't need any distractions…" said Arceus. "I'll bring them back when we're finished…"

"Taking advantage of you goddess status…" Reshiram said. "Didn't expect that from you, Arcy…"

Arceus gave her a look. "So the teams…"

"I ask again...can we choose?" asked Hoopa.

"No", said Giratina. "There are two teams, the Alpha Arceus and the Grand Giratinas…"

Upon hearing those names, all of the legendaries began laughing, making the god and devil legends glare at them.

"Come on now...be serious…" said Dialga, still laughing.

"We ARE…"

"What?" asked Mew. "You gotta be kidding! Those names are lame!"

"Don't care, now, my team will consist of Mew, Victini, Suicune, Keldeo, Heatran, Rayquaza, Xerneas, Groudon, Uxie, Reshiram, Ho-Oh, Articuno, Thundurus, Cobalion, Deoxys, Kavi, Manaphy, Latios, Raikou, Moltres, Tornadus, and Jirachi", said Arceus.

"And mine will consist of Celebi, Lugia, Dialga, Zekrom, Zapdos,Terrakion, Entei, Azelf, Mesprit, Yveltal, Hoopa, Tornadus, Palkia, Kyurem, Darkrai, Cresselia, Shaymin, Virizion, Mewtwo, Kyogre, Landorus, Volcanion, and Latias", Giratina concluded.

"Great...stick me on the team with the death loving bastard…" Mewtwo growled

"I ain't thrilled about it either…" Yveltal retorted.

"Who cares, the faster we get this over with, the better." Moltres said

"Says the fried chicken…" said Kavi.

"Says the only fake legend here…" Moltres retorted.

"At least I take my job seriously," Kavi growled.

"Well, I know that our team's doomed…" said Mew.

"And why is that?" Ho-Oh asked.

Mew pointed to Cobalion.

"For once, he's right," Keldeo commented

"I AM NOT A FAILURE!" Cobalion exclaimed, extremely angered.

"Yeah yeah, blame your curse...you still suck at life…" Thundurus replied.

"I agree, it's illogical, we all know that curses are myths other than the ones we give,"Deoxys started.

"Yet there is a move literally called 'Curse'..."

"I said 'except the ones we give'", Deoxys replied.

"That has different effects depending if we are a ghost or not,"Mewtwo added.

"Psychic-types have that power, too, brainiac…" Cobalion growled.

"Yes...and it shows how weak you are if you let a mere inferior Pokemon do something to you…"

"A hideous inferior Pokemon at that…" Virizion added.

"Yet, you are too stupid to even listen to me since then." Cobalion responded as he got more irritated

"I had to realize how stupid you were", said Virizion. "Even before your 'cursing', you sucked at saving or even giving orders!"

Cobalion growled harshly, now completely enraged. "Okay, I'm done with you assholes, just tell us what we do now…."

"Now that the prom couple is done, what are we going to do now?" Manaphy asked

"I JUST...RAHHHHHHH!" Cobalion exclaimed as he started walking into the forest.

"Oh well, who needs him?"

"So, your challenge today is skydiving but before we release you to do that, we will give you all a short tour," Arceus said

"Ooh a tour, we are all enthralled," Zapdos sarcastically muttered.

"Wanna be sent to the Distortion World for a month?" asked Giratina.

Zapdos immediately stayed quiet before beginning to grumble to himself again.

"Shut up Zapdos," Articuno muttered to her counterpart

"Don't tell me to shut up, I know you have a crush on the reject," Zapdos countered back whispering

"Don't tell anyone or I will make you wish you never saw the cold side of me," Articuno threatened with an icy glare that made Zapdos shut up for the second time.

"Alright, now let's get started with the tour", said Arceus.

**000**

"Where are we?" asked Raikou as they all stood inside of a large building that was completely trippy. The area had swirling stars and resembled the universe. At the far right end however, was a set of toilets and on the left, was a set of urinals, all with cameras in front of them.

Along the right and left walls were boxes, one of which were open, revealing shower heads. In the center along a bisecting wall were sinks.

"Um...is this the bathroom?" asked Dialga.

"How'd you guess that?" Darkrai asked sarcastically. "The toilets, the urinals, or the smell of shit and piss?"

"Kinda big for just a bathroom isn't it?" asked Azelf.

"Nope", said Giratina.

"Okay, the bathroom looks cool and all, but why the fuck are there cameras?"

"One...this entire place is coed...and two, it's for posterity and fun…." said Arceus.

"And also embarrassment…" Giratina added with a dark chuckle.

"And why would-"

Arceus and Giratina gave them looks. "You constantly see us in 'unflattering' positions, so...we're turning the tables…"

"So...this is gonna be a free 'show' for you?"

"WHAT?! NO!" Arceus exclaimed, blushing. "Urgh...let's just move on…"

"No, I want to know!" Cresselia exclaimed.

"Moving on!" Giratina shouted

**000**

Everyone was now in the castle, also known as the mess hall. It was a quite nice and had the latest equipment, but the furniture and setup looked horrible. The tables were wooden and old, the kitchen was dirty, with grime and dirt on the dishes and tiles on the wall. Along with that, the place smelled like Skuntanks.

"This is the kitchen," Giratina said.

"It stinks in here," Moltres commented

"Thanks that's what we wanted," Arceus replied. "Like the hall, there are gonna be chores here. But...only for a certain group of people, which you will know later on..."

Everyone groaned.

"This is a violation of health codes," Latios grumbled as he looked around.

"Nerd," Victini spoke making Latios growl.

"Ok, before you two start arguing like an old couple, here is the next room." Giratina spoke as he let them to the dining area.

It was a very large table with multiple plates set up and a chandelier over the top of it. However, the table was lopsided, the white cloth was stained with red and brown, a few of the chairs were broken, the plates and silverware were completely dirty, and the chandelier looked like it was on the last bolt.

"Why must life always be difficult?" asked Rayquaza.

"Like we said, chores…"

"So where are we gonna eat until this place gets cleaned up?!" asked Landorus.

"Okay, from now on, keep all questions and complains to yourselves until the end of the tour…"

"But we would forget some of them then…" Manaphy explained.

"That's the point", Giratina stated.

Suddenly, the chandelier fell on the table and shattered, sending shards of glass everywhere.

"Wonderful…" Deoxys mumbled.

"Okay, let's move onto your living arrangements…"

"Well, this can't be good…" Lugia whispered to herself.

**000**

The group saw a hotel that was sparkling and perfect along with rotting old cabins,

"What the hell is this!?" Groudon shouted

"These are your new sleeping arrangements", Arceus said.

"Okay, the hotel is amazing, but seriously...old cabins?" asked Virizion.

"Um...do you want the losers to share in your glory or would you rather appreciate them being in bad conditions?"

"Good point", Yvetal said

"But thats not fair!" shouted Articuno.

"Who cares, over here is the old cabins that may or may not be infested with rabid Ratattas. Moving on..." Arceus said.

"Wait what!?"

"I SAID MOVING ON!" the God pokemon shouted making almost everyone flinch.

**000**

The legends were all brought to a theater-esque area.

"This...is the auditorium…" Giratina explained.

"It looks like a theater…" said Ho-Oh.

"That's what we were going for…" said Arceus. "Here is where we will meet up for certain challenges...and others can go in if they just want to hang out or whatever…"

"Uh huh…" said Thundurus, folding his arms.

**000**

They all stood in front of a large bookshelf shaped building on the opposite side on the island.

"This here is the library. The perfect hangout for nerds like you."

"Hey!" Uxie, Celebi, Mewtwo, and Deoxys all exclaimed.

"Just because we like to know more than you doesn't make us nerds...it just makes us smarter and you all dumber", said Celebi.

"Reading's for the lame…" Keldeo said, high-fiving Genesect.

"...Who is the strongest dragon-type Pokemon?" asked Uxie.

"Um...duh...Goomy…"

"And thus my point is proven…" said Celebi.

"Moving on", said Giratina.

**000**

The legends were brought to a large Master Ball-shaped building.

"This is the gym, no explanation here…"

"You're not even trying this time around!" Yveltal exclaimed.

"No one gives a shit…" growled Entei. "Okay, now what's next?"

**000**

"Why the hell is there garbage everywhere?"

"This is the junkyard, where you would find some old, random, and possibly useless shit to use for future challenges.. I must warn you, there are some feral pokemon living in there, so….good luck with that."

"Fuck you…" Kavi groaned.

"No…" said Arceus.

**000**

They all went back to the beach. "And that ends the tour", said Giratina. "Pretty nice, huh?"

"NO!" they all exclaimed.

"Well, deal with it", said Arceus. "Now, your challenge will begin in an hour, so for now...feel free to explore, and we'll call you back when it's time."

**000**

"**I know Giratina is still on my ass about that one...incident, if they let me, Latios, Mewtwo, and Latias mega...or Groudon or Kyogre go primal, it would be a whole different story." Rayquaza said crossing his arms as a banana crashed through the door hitting him in the face**

"**I HATE THAT DAMN MONKEY!"**

**000**

**"Here I am, one island and game show with most of the idiots here. I have few friends here and I don't care about the others. I'm going to prove I am just as good or better than everyone else." Kavi stated crossing his arms.**

**000**

"**Easy pickings…" Hoopa said with a smile.**

**000**

"**I hate everyone…" Kyurem stated blankly.**

**000**

"**Well...this'll be interesting…" Zekrom stated.**

**000**

"**I'd better not end up getting critically injured on this fucking island…" Reshiram growled**

**000**

**Judging by the competition, it would seem like knowledge is the key to victory. I have done many different calculations in my head to figure out how to win." Uxie said**

"**Um what?" asked a Heracross intern**

"**Hey, is there something in my eyes?" Uxie said as he was about to open them, the camera then cuts to static**

**000**

"**I'm really feeling it!" Mesprit cheered "I already know either Uxie or Azelf are going to do something stupid"  
**

**000**

"**Time to party!" Azelf exclaimed. **

**000**

"**Well...this should be fun…as long as nothing fucks my chances up…" Mew mumbled, folding arms.**

**000**

"**Welp, time to ruin others' chances…" Victini said with a smile. "I know I'm bound to win this shit anyway. I'm the Victory Pokemon after all…"**

**000**

"**Hmm...being in charge of the hall, money, free food, and the possible chance to win over Kavi…" Virizion recalled. "This'll be enjoyable…"**

**000**

"**TACOS!" Keldeo exclaimed before throwing a taco at the camera**

**000**

**"Why is there tacos splattered over the camera?" Terrakion questioned**

**000**

**"How can i not win? I have a fucking cannon on my back," Genesect smiled**

**000**

"**Well...I'm fucked…" said Shaymin.**

**000**

"**I hope Phione's doing okay without me…" said Manaphy.**

**000**

"**I have a bad feeling about this…" Lugia said. "Although the drama will be great…"**

**000**

"**I hate this already…" said Ho-Oh. "I never liked human reality shows...so this is just ridiculous! Don't they know that our special abilities will make it harder for each other?"**

"**ALL OF YOUR ABILITIES WILL BE DISABLED ON THIS ISLAND, SO NO COMPLAINING!" he heard from outside.**

"**Well...I stand corrected…"**

**000**

"**This will be easy…" said Mewtwo.**

**000**

"**...knowledge is power…" Deoxys finished. "So, the others don't stand a chance…"**

**000**

"**Mew'd better straighten up and realize that Victini's trouble…" said Celebi.**

**000**

"**This is going to be a very awkward competition...I can already tell…" said Jirachi.**

**000**

"**No comment…" said Landorus.**

**000**

"**..." said Tornadus.**

**000**

"**My team is fucked…" said Thundurus.**

**000**

**"I have to try to get Kavi's attention, we are good friends so that should help," Articuno said.**

**000**

"**WHY?!" Zapdos exclaimed.**

**000**

**We'd better win these challenges…" said Moltres. "I'd love to boss the others around!"**

**000**

"**Fuck this…" Entei groaned.**

**000**

"**Great...on a team with both Raikou AND Keldeo", said Suicune. "This won't be problematic at all…"**

**000**

"**I don't know what Suicune's been doing with Keldeo, all I know is that it's gonna stop…" Raikou said with a growl.**

**000**

"**I wanted to be on a team with Ray-Ray, but...I guess we'll be competing against each other…" Latias said. "Oh well…"**

**000**

"**Looks like I have a chance for Kavi after all…" said Latios with a smile. "I'll win this game AND him…"**

**000**

"**Fuck Groudon…" Kyogre muttered.**

**000**

"**I wish Kyogre wasn't such a bitch…" said Groudon. "Glad she ain't my burden, team wise…"**

**000**

"**I can't believe I'm not on Terra's team! This is total-" Heatran started.**

**000**

"**I have no comment on this matter…" said Xerneas.**

**000**

"**There'd be plenty of near death and pain here…" Yvetal said grinning evilly**

"**WE DON'T DIE FUCKER!"**

**000**

"**I can't wait to jump outta planes, fight giants, and ride that rocket!" Volcanion exclaimed. "This is AWESOME!"**

**000**

"**Ugh...in a situation like this, I may have to actually stop drinking…" said Dialga as she drunk a beer through a hat.**

**000**

"**Well...this will end in ruins…" said Palkia.**

**000**

"**Fucking Cresselia…" Darkrai muttered. "Had to be her…"**

**000**

"**Eeeeee!" Cresselia squealed. "I'm on Darky's team! This is going to be great!"**

**000**

"Okay…we have an hour to plan a strategy…" said Deoxys.

"Actually...just about 44 minutes…" said Groudon.

"Whatever…" Deoxys said.

"I'm fine with a plan," Kavi shrugged

"Tacos...i'm in," Keldeo smiled

"Why does he always say that?" Articuno asked Suicune who shrugged

"Plan? You realize that you have the Victory Pokemon on your side," Victini boasted.

"And then something will screw you over to the point where we have to all you 'Lose'-tini." stated Manaphy

"Really?" Victini responded in annoyance.

"Actually, that would be pretty damn funny." Thunderus laughed

"Shut up!"

"Now, can we have a real plan?" Jirachi said in frustration

"We don't even know what the challenge is, so how can we even formulate a plan?" questioned Moltres.

"It's obviously going to be a cliff challenge, most shows start that way to make fun of the scaredy cats here. Who can swim?" Deoxys muttered.

"Even if they use gravity on me, I can use my wings as a propeller underwater so i ain't scared of heights or water," Kavi answered.

"I hate water," Groudon groaned

"Aww, big bad lizard is afraid of a little water," Keldeo mocked before getting stomped by Groudon.

"Shut it mlp reject, I'm still taller than you and can crush you easily," Groudon growled

"I wonder if the other team is having this problem," Uxie sighed

**000**

"So who wouldn't jump a cliff?" Virizion asked

"I would jump it easily, it's just like a roller coaster," Volcanion smiled

"I'm a rock type, but I ain't afraid of a little water," Terrakion shrugged.

"I hate oceans," Entei muttered.

"So we can all agree we will jump right?" Palkia said.

"I won't jump for shit, I don't give a damn about this game," Kyurem stated blandly.

"If we lose because of you, then you will be the first voted off," Zekrom threatened.

"That's what I want turbine," Kyurem retorted as the two argued.

"So much for team spirit," Mesprit groaned

"Contestants! REPORT TO THE CLIFF!" Arceus' voice boomed.

"Knew it," Dialga said.

**At the Cliff**

"Hello contestants, ready for the challenge?" Arceus asked cheerfully.

"Hell no," Yveltal muttered.

"Too bad because you're jumping off this cliff, without flying or levitating." Giratina stated as Arceus used Gravity to ground the airborne legends.

"Oh we are so scared of falling," Latios sarcastically wailed.

"You will be, look," Arceus muttered as the legends looked down and paled at what they saw.

"Oh…..shit."

**000**

**So that's it for us on this first chapter. Stay tune next time.**

**DA33 - That sure was a great start...right?**

**Kavi- It was, wasn't it? Who will win? Who will lose?**

**SD - Not even we know at this point, its not like its scripted huh? Find out next time on Total Pokemon Legendary Island! **


	2. Chapter 2

**Knight- Hey Kavi here or Knight whichever name is fine. We are back with chapter 2! Expect drama **

**DA33 - And pain! The pain is always great!**

**SD - . And tacos, lots of tacos**

**Knight-Don't make me hungry! **

**SD- What? If the world had discovered them sooner there would be little to no war….same goes for cheese sticks**

**DA33- No more food talk, get to the next episode! We don't own anything!**

**000000**

_Last time on Total Drama Legendary Competition Island, the contestants are picked by Arceus and Giratina themselves to face each other, teams were set and the first challenge was about to begin. The teams already had tensions rise and conflicts occur, rivalries sparking, hatred towards one another, and most of all, pain! Who will win the first challenge of the competition? Who will be sent packing….probably Kyurem? Find out on Total….Drama…..Legendary Competition Island!_

**000000 **

"Are you really making us jump off a cliff?"

"Are you trying to kill us!?"

"One, Yes. Two, you are all practically immortal therefore you can't really 'die'...except that one time with Celebi….and Latios….and Victini...and Darkrai…and Genesect...and Mewtwo..."

"I didn't even die!" Darkrai and Victini shouted.

"Even if you did I would have to take my time to create you all a new body…" Arceus replied

"What about that time you almost drowned in cement?" Palkia added

"And came back a few thousand years later and kicked your ass? Along with Giratina and Dialga?" Arceus added causing the creation trio to glare at the Alpha pokemon.

"Whatever. Onion fairy, you're up!"

"Ugh…" Celebi groaned.

"Oh for an added bonus," Giratina smiled as evil looking Sharpedo awaited the legendaries .

"Oh, and you're not allowed to use attacks."

"WHAT!?" everyone shouted

"Meh," Kyurem shrugged

**-000-**

"**I should've had my future self warn me about this…" Celebi groaned**

**-000-**

"**Yep….we're screwed…"** ** Suicune stated**

**-000-**

"**No one will hurt you my precious taco. Precious," Keldeo said rocking back and forth in a crazy manner**

"**Seriously...what is with you and tacos?" a Watchog intern asked**

"**In the future! There will be the same question about a Mudkip and pie!"**

"**FOURTH WALL!" a voice yelled**

"**What the hell was that?" **

**-000-**

"Go on, jump or fall…..or will you wear this Goomy hat of shame for the rest of the day," Arceus stated.

"Why Goomy? Almost everyone likes it for some reason…"

"Because it's a pathetic pokemon…" Giratina stated

"Says the Legendary who lost to a Chikorita…" Rayquaza muttered getting a few snickers, even from Arceus.

"Says the Legendary that got his ass beat by a monkey and space fox." responded the Renegade pokemon earning him a glare.

"Can you stop referring to shit that no one cares or even know about?!" Yveltal growled.

"FUCK YOU!"

**-000-**

"**No comment…" Giratina growled**

"**You can watch the video on Mewtube!"**

**-000-**

**Arceus: Giry doesn't seem to realize that his true power was limited, and the weaklings' was increased.**

**Plus, Grass-types are the cheesiest types...so he shouldn't count that anyway...**

**-000-**

"Oh, by the way…" Arceus said before stomping the ground causing the flying/levitating pokemon to fall to the ground

"Oh come on!" Celebi shouted

"Nope, no flying just to make this fair for everyone."

"Bullshit", said Uxie, rubbing his head.

"Yeah, that's bullshit."

"I just said that!" Uxie shouted

"Can we just get the challenge over with!?" Rayquaza shouted as he swung his tail, unknowingly knocking Celebi off the cliff.

"Oh….crap."

"Bwahahahaha! That was amazing!" Genesect laughed

**-000- **

**Celebi: Rayquaza...I will end you! You're next Genesect!**

**-000-**

"Thats one point for Grand Giratina's," Arceus said

"Who's next?" Giratina smiled

"I'll go," muttered Kavi who had to roll off the cliff due to not being able to levitate

Kavi fell into the water and was immediately attacked by the Sharpedo who viewed the half legend as lunch. One Sharpedo was able to bite Kavi in the rear before the black Latios could get to shore.

"Ow! Get your teeth off my ass!" Kavi growled as the Sharpedo let go and went back into the ocean

**-000-**

"**Now I got teeth marks on my ass...I hate this game already," Kavi sighed**

**-000-**

"That's a point for my team," Arceus grinned

"NEXT!" Giratina yelled

"I'm not jumping at all," Cobalion stated.

"We didn't ask," Virizion retorted .

"This is just the Roller Coaster Simulator back at the hall!" Keldeo exclaimed as he jumped and used Hydro Pump from his hooves to do a bunch a flips and spins before hitting the water, and then firing from the water like a rocket onto land

"TWO POINTS FOR AN AWESOME FALL!" Arceus announced

"What?! All he did was just do a bunch of flips, how is that awesome?!" Mew questioned

"Because I said so." Arceus replied

"Stupid llama…." Mew muttered as Arceus's eyes flashed a bright red causing lightning to "randomly" hit Mew.

**-000-**

**Mew: Fuck...my...life...**

**-000-**

"You deserved that so much," Mewtwo stated

"Wasn't talking to you!" Mew retorted

"I don't care you pussy! JUMP!" Mewtwo replied

Mew sighed and looked down, the Sharpedo hungrily looked at him and waited for him to jump.

"Are you sure this is sa-AAAAAAFE!?" Mew shouted as Mewtwo kicked him off the ledge

"I always wanted to do that." Mewtwo said smiling before jumping off as well.

"Aren't they related?" Articuno asked

"If you count being born in a test tube being related then yes," Genesect sarcastically said

"What about that diary that said Mew gave birth to Mewtwo?"

"Wait? Mew's a chick!?" Raikou shouted completely shocked

"HOLY ARCEUS SHIT!" Volcanion exclaimed before receiving a Judgement from the goddess herself sending him flying on the wrong side of the cliff and crashing into multiple rocks and belly flopping into the ocean

"Ow," the other contestants cringed as Arceus looked pissed

"That got to hurt, let's see the replay!" Giratina smiled a monitor appeared next to the Renegade Pokemon, showing Arceus attacking Volcanion, making him fall into the ocean

"That was amazing," Kavi stated as Volcanion washed up on the island

"Is he alright, how can you just take a hit like that without being severely injured even as a legendary?" Suicune questioned

"We literally found him in the hall weeks ago, so probably." Giratina replied

**-000-**

**Volcanion: *Wrapped up in bandages* Ow….But still was worth it**

**-000-**

"Who's next?" Arceus asked

"Why not a chick go? So far it's been all guys," Darkrai said

"Unless you count Mew." Victini joked

"I AM A DUDE!" they all heard as Mew crawled onto the beach, Mewtwo walking past him

"You're right, ladies should go now," Giratina agreed

"That's a bunch o-," Virizion was about to say but was cut off by Cobalion pushing her off.

"See, and this is why I-Phione is better." Giratina said

"Remind me to slap you for making that stupid joke…" Arceus replied

Virizion eventually landed on island drenched and shivering and also avoiding Sharpedo which tired her out.

"Guess all that speed didn't help you this time," Mew sneered

"S-shut up Mew," Virizion shivered

"Need a warm up?" Kavi asked giving Virizion a hug which Virizion gladly accepted and secretly blushed

**00000**

**Virizion: 'still blushing' I'm starting to get to him**

**00000**

"Aww fuck it." Suicune said as she jumped off the cliff and began jumping across the water avoiding the sharpedo

"Is that cheating?" Manaphy asked

"We allow it." Arceus responded

"Um...who is keeping score?" Azelf questioned

"Lets see, it is...5-to-4, unless you don't count the UNFAIR extra point for Keldeo…" Mesprit said, folding her arms. Arceus rolled her eyes.

"Come on you pussies, get moving", said Giratina

"You know what, I changed my mind, I'm going to prove to you all that I am not a failure," Cobalion stated.

"This will be good," Hoopa chuckled.

"Don't trip," Entei added with a grin.

"How would I tr-iiiiiiiip!" Cobalion retorted as he fell down the cliff hitting multiple ledges of the cliff especially one right between his legs

"Oww, that's going to hurt," Ho-oh said

"Epic fail!" Latios laughed as the others did too.

Cobalion emerged from the water and sadly waded to the shore, where the others also laughed.

**000**

**Cobalion: I fucking hate that Jynx…**

**000**

"Okay, in light of Cobalion's epic fail, who's up next?" asked Arceus.

"Why not one of the he-shes?" asked Darkrai, gesturing to Shaymin and Hoopa.

"Hey!" both of them exclaimed.

"Hey, the guy speaks the truth...when you both change form, you change gender, too…" Yveltal explained.

"Shut the hell up…" said Hoopa. "You're acting like it matters…"

"Will someone just jump!?" Groudon exclaimed.

"Out of the way…" said Kyogre as she scooted herself forward. "I've had enough of the insults and bullshit…"

"You spew that shit at the hall towards Groudon on a daily basis…." Cresselia stated. "Then he screws you to oblivion…"

"Shut up!" Kyogre exclaimed with a blush.

"Wait a second…" said Entei, gaining a smile.

"What's with the creepy smile?" asked Raikou.

"Quiet!" he growled as he hopped onto Kyogre's left arm and on her back.

"Um...are we allowed to use each other to jump?"Entei finally asked.

"Well, considering that Mewtwo and Cobalion 'helped' Mew and Virizion jump...I'd say yes…"

"Well if that's the case...everyone on my team get the fuck on!" Entei exclaimed.

"WHAT?!" Arceus exclaimed.

"Yes! Haha!" Giratina laughed as majority of the members of his team hopped on Kyogre's back as she slid herself down the side of the cliff.

"Oh you suck!" Arceus exclaimed, glaring at Giratina.

"Actually...don't _you_ do that for _him_?" asked Victini with a laugh, making Arceus glare at him and causing a large water balloon to 'suddenly' appear above him.

"Dah!" he exclaimed.

"That's what you get…" Jirachi said with a glare.

"Well, since most of the other team is gone now...is the challenge over?" asked Moltres.

"NO!" Arceus growled. "You guys are ALL jumping NOW…"

"But what if we don't wanna?" asked Latios.

Arceus glared at him before lifting him up and slamming him onto the ground repeatedly before dropping him off the cliff. Everyone looked at the goddess in shock and fear.

"ANY OTHER COMMENTS?!"

They all shook their heads as Manaphy quickly jumped off the cliff along with Jirachi.

"Now GO!"

"I hate water...but I hate losing more...I hate this challenge most," Moltres sighed, contemplating on jumping.

"Can't we just ride Rayquaza? The other team did with Kyogre and frankly, it makes you look like shit," Deoxys stated.

"Shut up! Ray, we're riding you," Groudon growled

"Ah hell no! You guys are heavy, " Rayquaza muttered before turning to Groudon. "Plus you know how to swim!"

"Do it or you are gone and I hate losing!" Arceus threatened

"Fine! Get on!" Rayquaza yelled.

All of the remaining legends hopped onto the sky serpent's back, making him groan and scream in pain as the weight of a few of them piled hard.

**-000-**

**Rayquaza: You know what sucks...THEY'RE ALL STILL GONNA GET FUCKING WET!**

**-000-**

Rayquaza slithered off of the cliff with all of the remaining members on his back.

"HA! This challenge is over!" Arceus exclaimed. "Looks like we're tied."

"You sure about that?" asked Giratina.

"Of course!"

Giratina gave his mate a devilish smirk. "Well you should know by now Arcy...if this is anything like the hall...I always win…"

"What?!"

Suddenly, panting was heard and Heatran sluggishly made his way up.

"HEATRAN?!" Arceus exclaimed angrily.

"That's right…" said Giratina with a smile. "I saw him gesturing for Terrakion to come with him down the cliffside, but Terrakion didn't go, so he went alone…"

"Where'd everyone go?" Heatran asked.

Arceus growled.

**000**

"I fucking hope the whole competition isn't like this…" said Reshiram as she heated herself up, drying herself instantly.

"Well, if that was the first challenge, I bet things are just going to get worse from here…"

"I wonder why they haven't come down yet…" said Shaymin, looking back up at the cliff top.

"Probably trying to figure out who wins because everyone jumped already…" said Latios.

"Um...have you guys seen Heatran?" asked Terrakion.

"Huh?" Xerneas asked. "I was sure he was up there…"

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

Suddenly, Heatran landed directly on Cobalion. "Ugh...I hate my life…" the steel musketeer groaned.

"I hate your life, too…" said Virizion.

Cobalion growled.

**000**

**Cobalion: She seems to forget that she willingly made out with me during the Christmas Party. Sure, we were all drunk, but she still did it!**

**And, apparently, when you're drunk, you see a bit of who you really are...so she digs me...**

***Outside***

**Virizion: As if!**

**000**

"Looks like my team wins…" said Giratina with a smile as he and Arceus floated down towards the others, the latter with a cranky frown.

"But in the end, I still win, because tonight you won't getting _anything_…"

"Heh, fine with me…" said Giratina. "_You're_ the one who begs _me_…_"_

"Shut up!" Arceus growled. "Um...best two out of three!"

"Wait...THREE?!" Suicune exclaimed.

"We just jumped off of a cliff, haven't we been through enough?!" Azelf asked.

"Um… most of us got a free ride off of the cliff…" said Kyurem. "You included, so complaining about something that didn't happen to you...is as dumb as shit…"

"Plus...aren't you the 'being of willpower' or something?" Thundurus asked. "So, you shouldn't complain about anything, really…"

"SCREW YOU GUYS!"

"Okay, let's move onto the next challenge…" said Arceus. "And this time...my team WILL win…or else…"

Arceus' team exchanged nervous glances.

**000**

**Keldeo: Um...can I be on Giratina's team?**

**000**

**Tornadus: I never thought a llama could be so crazy…**

**000**

**Manaphy: Why did they bring me here? Just why? I don't even bother anyone!**

**000**

**Kavi: I honestly would be scared…..if I didn't just watch those two get at each other like a married couple. Wait...are they married? They act like it, but they never acknowledge it…..weird.**

**000 **

"Alright, the next challenge is going to be a little bit easier but much more painful. I will ask you all this question, who is a good shot?" Arceus said

The legends looked at each other for a minute muttering as if unsure if any of them should volunteer. Most of them were good shots anyway, each one of them had at least one ranged attack.

"Fine I'll do it," Kavi sighed raising his claw

"Thank you Kavi, you better not miss," Arceus threatened making the half legend gulp in fear

"Now who will fire the cannon from my team?" Giratina asked

"Wait, what cannon?" Terrakion questioned

On cue, interns took off a covered item which turned out to be a cannon, a very large one that could fit any of the legendaries. It also looked menacing as one of the interns was filling the cannon with gunpowder

"Are you sure this is safe?" Manaphy asked

"Sure, we can test it out for you." Giratina said before glaring at a Patrat "Kenny! get in the cannon!"

"B-but sir, I don't want to die!" Kenny begged with his paws in front of him

"GET IN THE CANNON NOW!" Arceus yelled as Kenny eventually climbed into the cannon where Giratina lit the fuse and it shot the Patrat far

"AHHHHHHHH!" Kenny screamed as he was shot away

"OH MY ARCEUS! YOU KILLED KENNY!"

"He's not dead….just mortally wounded….

"Yeah, mortally wounded in terms of not breathing and breaking every part of his body. Sure," Kyurem muttered

"Shut up you broke winged motherfucker" Giratina growled

"Says number 666 devil ripoff," Kyurem retorted

"Thats Vivillon you idiot!"

"You have six appendages, six black and red stripes and six legs, 666, the devil's favorite number," Deoxys cut in.

"Hail Nero!" Keldeo shouted

"NO ONE ASKED YOU!" Arceus yelled

"Aw," Keldeo sighed

"Let's get started," Giratina said in annoyance

**000**

"I volunteer…." Deoxys started. "Cobalion to go first."

"WHAT?!"

"I second that…" Groudon stated.

"Same here", said Suicune.

As everyone continued agreeing, the steel musketeer growled angrily. "Fuck you all!"

"No thanks, now get your ass moving already."

"Don't worry Cobalion, I'm a great shot," Kavi smiled evilly.

"Screw you," Cobalion growled

"Nah, I wouldn't." Kavi replied as he used psychic to stuff the steel legendary into the cannon

"Fire in the hole!" Kavi exclaimed as he fired and shot completely off from the target

"Ahhhhhhhh!" Cobalion screamed as he was shot far away.

"YOU MISSED?!" Arceus yelled in anger

"Uh, I don't miss," Kavi replied as Cobalion came back and hit the target dead on

**-000-**

"**I hate…..you guys…." Cobalion said covered in bruises**

**-000-**

"How that hell was that possible?!" Celebi exclaimed.

**000**

A large trampoline was seen stretched across two trees in the distance.

**000**

"Natural talent…" Kavi lied with a cocky smile.

"Uh huh…" Hoopa said, folding her arms.

"Oh what do you know!?" Kavi exclaimed.

"I know you slept with Cobalion in another universe I've been"

"Thats total bs Hoopa, i'd rather have the other me sleep with a different guy than Cobalion," Kavi growled

"Just saying," Hoopa shrugged

"Can we get on with this already!?" Victini shouted

"Oh, you were Mew's bitch too…" Hoopa added "You were really enjoying it too…"

"ENOUGH!" Giratina shouted, scaring some of the other legends in the process

"Alright, I'm going in." Keldeo smiled

Kavi levitated the water horse into the cannon and adjusted aim...along with putting more gunpowder.

"Is that really necessary?" Articuno asked

"After dealing with that...yeah," Kavi answered as he fired the cannon

Instead of missing, Kavi purposely aimed dead center as Keldeo flew at the target and hit it with a sickening '_Crunch!' _Keldeo fell to the floor unmoving.

"Did I kill him?" Kavi asked with a smile as the water horse twitched in response holding a smashed taco

"DAMMIT!" Kavi yelled

"And that's one point for my team," Arceus gloated at Giratina.

"It's still early," Giratina muttered

"You won't shoot me with that much gunpowder right?" Articuno asked as she got into the cannon

"No, only for Keldeo's sake….why can't he just die?" Kavi said as he fired Articuno out of the cannon hitting the target

"Ow," groaned the ice bird

"Man I missed playing Duck Hunt….stupid dog you made me look bad…" Kavi said to himself

"'I'm not a duck!"

"But ducks are birds," Moltres added

"NO ONE ASKED YOU!" Articuno yelled

"Alright, come on lightning kitty," Kavi said

"Bite me," Raikou growled

"I can shoot you instead," Kavi grinned evilly

"Plus if you wanted someone to bite you, there are these two" said Manaphy pointing to Heatran and Terrakion.

"Ew, no way..." Heatran said.

"No way am I getting in tha-ahhhhhh!" Raikou said before being pushed into the cannon and being fired into the target with another sickening _"CRUNCH"_

"He's got 8 more," Kavi shrugged as the thunder cat twitched.

"KEEP UP THE PACE AND WIN!" Arceus yelled causing the other legendaries to flinch

"Oh god dammit…"

"Get in the cannon deer of life," Groudon muttered

"I swear I would kill you….but that would bring more immortality…." Xerneas retorted.

"We're all technically gods so we are kind of immortal already…..except Latios, Yvetal, and possibly Arceus." Uxie stated

"SHUT UP!" all three yelled at the Being of Knowledge

"Let's do this….wait….can't I just shoot you all out of the cannon?" Kavi questioned seeing how massive the cannon was

"...seriously? Ending this challenge like before without the drama," Giratina drawled

"I'm just saying," shrugged Kavi as he put Xerneas, Mew and Victini in the cannon

"Time to shoot the magic deer, the pussycat, and the fire rat. Time to shoot up all the three, that's all I got to say," Kavi sung.

"Oh, that is lame!"

"SHUT UP!"

"Um….I hate to interrupt but I'm pretty sure that eventually younger viewers will watch this and wonder what half the words we said even meant," Uxie inputted

"Let the parents deal with it, they're not doing anything anyway…"

"Fire in the hole….or to the hole heh heh," Kavi chuckled as he hit the button causing the cannon to fire all three into the target with a loud "_WHAM!"_

"OW!" the three legendaries yelped in pain, especially Mew and Victini as the larger life deer crushed them

"I never liked them anyway. NEXT!" mused Kavi

"Screw this game!" Tornadus exclaimed as he went into the cannon

"Great, now gay dragon and rainbow bird get in too," Groudon added

"Screw you overgrown lizard!" Ho-oh squawked but still went in the cannon

"Why don't YOU get in!?" Rayquaza growled

"Because I don't need to,"

"Bullshit!" Jirachi yelled before using Psychic and forcing the Ground type into the cannon….which got him stuck and anyone else was squeezed

"AGH! GET YOUR FAT ASS OFF ME!" Latios screamed in pain

"I don't know what's more amusing, hearing their screams of pain or seeing Groudon stuck," Kavi smiled

"SHUT UP AND FIRE!"

Kavi shrugged and did so as the cannon fired…..but Groudon did not budge, the other three legendaries….went somewhere else.

"GET ME OUT! GET US OUT!" the others could somewhat hear still in the cannon

"Can someone fire the cannon again? I feel...really off," Groudon said

"Sure," Kavi gleamed as he fired the cannon again which caused Groudon to finally come out….but not hit the target as he just hit the floor instead, causing a crater in the process

"I WAS IN YOU!" Latios yelled as he flew into the bathrooms to cleanse himself

"That was a fail," Virizion commented

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!" Arceus growled in anger, her eyes glowing deep crimson

"Your team sucking more than you do on Sundays" Giratina retorted

"OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH! BURN!" all the legendaries said at once

Arceus did not look happy, she looked beyond pissed….which was bad as the whole world could easily be destroyed now.

"Focus on the challenge or I will personally send you all to the Distortion World for the day," Arceus said somewhat calmly but it took all her willpower.

"Hey, just speaking the truth…" Giratina with a wink, while Arceus kept her glare.

**-000-**

"**Not even a burn heal can help Arceus", Victini said laughing.**

"**Make that a Full Restore." Mew added as the two high fived**

**-000-**

"**I sometimes wonder how they are together….I guess opposites attract. Speaking of attraction…..I'm just going to do it," Articuno shrugged**

**-000-**

"Alright who's next?" Kavi asked as Virizion came up to him

"You wouldn't hurt a lady would you?" Virizion asked batting her eyelashes at him but before he could answer her, she was carried away by Articuno and dropped into the cannon.

"What was that fo-," Kavi was about to ask until Articuno simply wrapped her wings around him forcefully and kissed him

"How….how is that possible?" Suicune asked out loud.

"Tongue….enough said," Keldeo said, smiling like a perv.

Articuno released Kavi after a few seconds, the faux legendary having a love struck smile as he hit the button that fired the cannon. Virizion hit the target dead on like the previous contestants with a loud _WHAM! _

"What the hell Kavi?!" Virizion angrily yelled in pain

"Next," was Kavi's reply as he still had that stupid smile on him.

"I'm going to kill you," Rayquaza growled which Kavi shrugged

"I get that a lot," Kavi muttered just using Psychic to stuff the ozone layer dragon into the cannon and fired it

The space dragon was sent at the target and it the dead center mark of it with his face first, his body following after and almost completely covering the target.

"That's a wrap," Kavi joked horribly

"That joke was horrible," Latias retorted

"She repeated the storyline! ALL IS LOST!" Keldeo exclaimed in fear

"If you're gonna break the fourth wall, I suggest you leave." Giratina stated

"What?" Keldeo replied with a confused look clearly not knowing what he just did

"Just don't break it…"

"Next! Can I just kill him?!" Kavi yelled annoyed by Keldeo already as Heatran moved up front.

"Just don't hurt my good side," Heatran said with a seductive smile that made Kavi pale

Kavi repeated the process again that he did with Rayquaza.

Kavi fired the cannon, sending Heatran flying and actually missing the target by a LOT.

"Well, that was useful…"

"You know what? All of you suck! Everyone it's time for elimination! Arceus team lost this today!" Giratina shouted

**-000-**

"Alright losers, since you have disappointed your team and myself greatly, this will be very brief." Arceus growled

"Oh this is going to e-"

"Everyone but Heatran is safe. Lava turtle….spider…..thing…..get the hell off my island!"

"What!? Why am I out!?"

"Because you suck that's why!" Cobalion shouted

"Says the one who **actually** sucks!" Mew stated

"I swear I will kill you all…" Cobalion growled as everyone laughed

"Thats funny, I can beat you with not 10% but 5% of my strength." Zygarde boasted

"Bring it on you stupid worm!" roared Cobalion

"ENOUGH!" Arceus snapped

**-000-**

"**I swear to me if the world wasn't screwed without them I'll kill them all." groaned Arceus**

"**Like the time where Yvetal went crazy?" an intern asked behind the camera **

"**NO THAT WAS DIFFERENT!"**

**-000-**

"Ugh...I swear I'm getting a headache." Arceus muttered as Victini started laughing

**Kavi: So that's the end of it, thanks for being patient and we will see about getting the next chapter up as soon as possible. Me, SD and DA33 all share the credit in typing this up, see you next time!**


	3. Mazes Hooray

**Knight-Hey there folks, here is yet another chapter from the three of us. Expect some more drama, **

**Dark - Maybe some relationships forming… **

**SD- Please don't fucking remind me….**

**Knight-Yeah a lot of those, sorry SD. Anyway, the story is now rated M due to excessive swearing and some possible suggestive scenes. Disclaimer anyone?**

**Dark: We don't own shit, so don't try to sue anything…**

**00000**

"Well….we sucked horribly," Kavi muttered on the top bunk in one of the old cabins

"Tacos!" Keldeo' exclaimed randomly

"What does Suicune see in you?" Groudon groaned

"What was that?" Raikou questioned

"And why does Keldeo have to be here?" Kavi muttered looking at the young legendary who was cross eyed and had his tongue sticking out

"Because they let him…." Latios drawled as he was reading a book

"This was the worst sleep I've had if it wasn't for the Entei, Raikou and Suicune starting crap," Ho-oh muttered as he preened his feathers

"Can I make an observation?" Uxie asked noticing the guys around him

"What's there to observe?" Cobalion grumbled

"Other than Cobalion being a fail and all…." began Uxie

"HEY!"

"Our team will have the most amount of drama, especially in the competitive love department,"

"You mean fighting for a girl or guy type of love? Really?" Raikou questioned

"Yes, and I can point them all out right now but I won't because for privacy purposes and I'm sure everyone here will be killing each other if I told what is coming," Uxie stated finally before leaving the cabin

"I'm leaving," Kavi said leaving the cabin as well as he didn't want to deal with everyone's stuff

**000**

"**Ok….Uxie is either really as smart as he looks, or he really must be a perv or stalker to know that much about our personal lives. How does he know about our relationships or possible relationships? I get it he is the Being of Knowledge but I'm sure that is borderline spying on others to get that info. As for relationships, Articuno kissed me yesterday which was really forward….which I didn't mind…..but hey, a kiss is a kiss I guess." Kavi shrugged **

**000**

"For the last time will you get the hell away from me!" Virizion shouted.

Cobalion had been following her everywhere. At the moment, they were at the cliff edge and she was getting fairly annoyed.

"No", Cobalion replied with a glare. "All of you need to take me seriously. I'm the leader of our group, so-"

"Ha! At this point, I think I'm the real leader", Virizion said. "You're such a loser that not even Heatran would want you, and he's a fucking slut!"

"I am NOT a loser…" he growled.

"Aw...did I hurt the steel-heart's feelings?" Virizion teased, causing Cobalion to blush and growl. "Guess that proves that you don't have balls."

"Bitch...I have very big balls…" Cobalion said, walking towards her. "Maybe you should try them."

"Back off, Little D", Virizion said, headbutting him back a few inches. "I'm not the one you want to mess with. Plus, I already have my eyes on another prize…"

"Oh yeah? Who?"

"That's none of your concern…" Virizion said as she started walking past him. "Now, if you start following me again, I'll tear you apart…"

"You ain't gonna do shit..." Cobalion said, making Virizion pause.

"What was that?"

"You heard me. You ain't gonna do shit!"

Virizion scoffed. "Oh? So I won't do shit, huh?" she said, her sword coming from her head.

Cobalion's sword formed as well, but Virizion sneak attacked him, sending him over the side of the cliff.

"Fucking failure at life…" Virizion muttered, looking over the edge before going back along her way.

**000**

Terrakion sighed as he lied in his bunk. With Heatran gone, who did he have to talk to? More importantly...who was he gonna fool around with now?

Entei and Shaymin entered the cabin, expecting to see no one. Instead, they saw Terrakion lying in his bed, depressed. They already knew he was bummed about Heatran, but seriously? Heatran was creepy and flirted with everyone.

"Ugh...Terrakion, you really need to get over it…" said Shaymin. "There's plenty of other fish in the sea-"

"We're dating...no point in saying that", Terrakion stated. "I just didn't expect him to be eliminated so fast…"

"Terra, barely any of us know how this shitty game works…" said Entei. "Arcy and her boyfriend just threw this on us and now things are just stupid."

"I know, right?!" Shaymin exclaimed. "Articuno and Virizion are both interested in Kavi already and the guy ain't even a real legendary!"

"I CAN HEAR YOU RIPOFF SONIC THE HEDGEHOG!"

"I don't see your point…" Terrakion said, still lying stationary.

"As far as I'm concerned, this game will be fair sometimes, and completely random in other cases."

**000**

Mewtwo was currently watching videos on youtube while Deoxys…...was floating. Just floating, not doing anything but just floating, but her curiosity rose as she saw Mewtwo watching videos. Deoxys floated over to the clone of Mew as she peaked at what he was watching.

"What are you watching?" Deoxys asked

"Some stupid youtuber who thinks we have multiple dimensions," Mewtwo answered

"_But hey, that's just a theory…..a game theory….thanks for watching!"_

"That does sound stupid," Deoxys stated

"Your face is stupid!" Mewtwo shouted at the screen before firing a Hyper Beam at the screen

"Well that's a bit excessive much, what the hell happened to that whole gay speech about the gift of life and all that?" the DNA pokemon asked

"Sometimes, those who breathe the breath of life don't even deserve it…"

"Oooooh dark, I like that," a Dusknoir intern said coming out of nowhere

**000**

"What's with you and Keldeo?" Raikou asked holding a glare

"Nothing, absolutely nothing," Suicune retorted hating Raikou's obsessive pestering.

"I know you go to see him when I'm not around. Why do you want to be around that little dysfunctional retarded pony so much?!"

"Why the hell does that even concern you?" Suicune asked "You act like we've been screwing like Lopunnies in heat"

"You're still defending him, answer the question," Raikou demanded

"We were just hanging out that's all! My Arceus did the cloud on your ass get too tight?"

"You better be just hanging out or I will personally make sure that retard wasn't even created,"

"Like when you let Entei stuck his spear up your ass," a Bronzor intern muttered

"BURN!" a bunch of Unknown yelled coming out of the ground causing a massive hole.

"You have that backwards and he forced himself on me…" Raikou growled.

"Oh um...I gotta go." Suicune said leaving this awkward moment.

Seeing this, Raikou gained a suspicious glare.

**-000-**

"**I don't know why but Suicune has been acting weird…." Raikou growled. "I swear, if she's fucking Keldeo behind my back...I'll make sure he regrets it…"**

**000**

"So…..anybody fold yet?" Zapdos asked as the six of them, the Legendary Bird trio and the Kami trio, were playing poker out of boredom.

"Nope," Tornadus muttered as he held his cards and looked at the ones on the table so far

There was an ace, a five, a three of spades and a queen of hearts. A mixed bag of nothing unless someone got some good stuff.

"Alright, final card," Landorus stated as he was the dealer, putting the last card up and it revealed to be a King of Spades

"Damn!" Zapdos and Tornadus yelled throwing their cards down

"I fold, I'm going to go fly around," Articuno said calmly as she left.

"Wasn't she interested in that reject?" Moltres asked

"Yeah," Thundurus nodded as he revealed his cards which Moltres sighed as Thundurus had won

**000**

"Grr, I can't kill anything here!" Yveltal muttered as he looked for something to kill, he couldn't help it due to Arceus creating him like that

"Hey, shut yer yap, I'm sleeping," Kyurem replied

"What are you going to do about it?"

Kyurem froze the death phoenix immediately as he went back to sleep while Darkrai was muttering as Cresselia cuddled him. He really didn't want to be cuddled by her, his eyes giving a bland expression.

"Cresselia, please go away," Darkrai mumbled as he wanted to get away from her as much as possible

"No, I can't let my little darky go," Cresselia smiled still cuddling him

"Ugh…"

**000**

Arceus laid on her bed and sighed happily "Peace and quiet at last."

"Are you sure? I mean we just started this stupid show and there will be a bigger chance that we'll get interrupted more." Giratina said before swatting away a random camera that got too close in his face. "And these stupid cameras are everywhere!"

Arceus got up and walked over to the Renegade Pokemon to nuzzle him. "Aww Giry, don't be that way,"

"Yeah, don't be that way Giry, especially since god is a whore," A Porygon2 intern said offscreen.

The Alpha pokemon's eyes glowed a bright red causing the Porygon2 to dissolve into dust.

"Did ya really have to do that?"

"Oh calm down, there's plenty of reviving items that can be used on it...unless a month goes by", Arceus said quickly.

"Yes mom…" Giratina said in deadpan tone

"Hey, hey, just because I created you doesn't mean I'm completely your mother…"

"That doesn't sound weird at all…" Giratina muttered.

"Technically she still is!" a Talonflame intern shouted.

"So...I'm every single Pokemon's mom since I pretty much created the universe?" Arceus asked. "Even ones that are born from others?"

"You're completely blowing it out of-AHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Ugh….this gonna be a long day"

**000**

"**Long story short...I created Uxie, Mesprit, Azelf, and Palkia, Dialga, and Giratina to be their own Pokemon, I only serve as their leader. Nothing more…" said Arceus.**

"**What about the others like Mew?"**

**Before Arceus said anything, the camera cuts to static.**

**000**

Articuno was flying around the island out of boredom and also thinking about what to do to get rid of Virizion. She was a threat against Articuno's plan to win Kavi over and right now, Kavi was leaning towards Articuno. However, that didn't mean he was completely hers as Virizion will probably try to wedge something in between them. Spotting the grasslands Pokemon, currently sunbathing, Articuno landed near Virizion.

"What do you want?" Virizion said without even looking who it was

"Stay away from my boyfriend!" Articuno answered

"What are you talking about? Did Mew piss in your bird feeder again?"

"Don't play stupid with me Virizion! I'm talking about Kavi here! You flat out stated you were interested in him with the other girls and I'm telling you, he's mine. Besides, I'm in the same team with him and you're not so I better not find you flirting with him or I'll freeze you." Articuno stated as cold as ice.

"And even if i was on the same team so what? I think you're letting jealousy get the best of you."

Virizion was about to say something until Articuno interrupted her once again

"Jealousy? I'm not jealous of you Virizion, after all, Cobalion is still after you," Articuno scoffed flying away to not deal with the Grasslands Pokemon, Articuno's mission already done as she made sure to claim what was hers

**000**

Kavi was in the junkyard by himself as he was calm at first but once he checked that there was no one around, he began to growl and clench his claws. His eyes glowed red before he glowed with a red light and changed form, no longer was he a Latios, but some odd looking dragon. He had metal skin with two giant wings, no arms and glowing red crystals and everything was triangular shaped. He fired some sort of red beam at a nearby pile of garbage which was destroyed immediately

"AHHHHH! I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS BULLSHIT ANYMORE!" Kavi yelled as he blasted two more piles before calming down and reverting back to his other form.

Kavi had too many years with the other legendaries not giving him enough credit in keeping the dimensions in check but instead treat him like an outsider. He was an outsider but there was a very good reason why he looked like a Latios and that was to keep his other form hidden. His other form was too powerful to use and Kavi would go on a rampage if he was in that form for too long. But no, everyone treated him like a dick, like as if he wasn't there and if he was there, he wasn't supposed to be there.

"Screw everyone and screw this island! I'm going to win and that's that," Kavi frowned

"ALL LEGENDARIES REPORT TO THE FIELD IMMEDIATELY!" Arceus announced.

**000**

All of the Legendaries made it to the field, where they saw an enormous stone maze sitting there.

"What do you want?" Zapdos grumbled

"Isn't it obvious that this is your next challenge?" Giratina drawled

Everyone remained silent.

"Good, at least we don't have to hear you bicker for now. Anyway, today's challenge is a ma-," Arceus began

"We haven't eaten anything," Lugia interrupted.

"Wait, no, Lugia don't!" Raikou warned before suddenly a pipe came out of the ground shooting tacos into the air, with the Colt Legendary following afterward.

"Free breakfast tacos for everyone!" he cheered happily

Raikou gave Suicune a look who slowly backed away from him.

**000**

"**Really...what the hell is going on here!?" Raikou shouted.**

**000**

"In the light of Keldeo's typical behavior, I really should have never created him, the challenge today is a maze challenge. Sounds simple, but there are many twists in it. The main objective is to navigate through a maze with your ENTIRE team ending up on the other side, if you get separated and do not have your whole team on the other side, you will have to go back into the maze to find your lost teammates. Also, there is no flying for you birds and those of you who levitate cannot levitate above the top of the maze, I set a barrier there to be sure you don't. Last thing, you cannot use any of your moves or abilities since some of you will be able to cheat. Any questions?" Arceus explained.

"Yeah, why do you expect us to care about each other?" asked Kyurem. "Can't we just leave them and kick their asses to the curb if they cost the challenge for us?"

"I mean...if you want to play the game that way, yeah…" Arceus said. "But, if you're on MY team, you'd better go back and win…"

The Alpha Arceus all groaned, while the Giratina snickered.

"Alright, any more questions?"

"Yeah, what do-" Keldeo spoke before getting interrupted

"IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK!" Giratina shouted causing nearly everyone to jump back a bit

"Um...Are there any dangers?" asked Uxie.

"No", Arceus said simply. "Now, let's get this started…"

Immediately, all of the legendaries were teleported.

**-000-**

Both teams were teleported in separate centers of the maze.

"Alright, this should be easy enough", said Terrakion.

"Yeah, this is just a maze, so if we ever get lost, we'll clearly find each other," Latios sarcastically rolled his eyes

**000**

"This is bullshit!" Groudon growled. The 11'06'' legendary couldn't even look over the sides of the maze like he hoped he would be able to.

"Quiet you! Do you really think they'd make it too easy for us?"

"Yeah, it's not like you could I don't know….BURN it down?" Uxie suggested

Groudon face pawed from the suggestion. He then primal reverted and used Eruption. Everyone else avoided the falling rocks like crazy but unfortunately, the Maze still stood.

"Well that failed…." Ho-Oh commented

"You're the one to talk, 'Mr. I have wings to fly.'" Groudon growled

"Obviously I can't and-"

"WE SAID NO MOVES!" Arceus shouted outside of the maze

**-000-**

"**Dammit, my one chance to get rid of that overgrown lizard" Uxie muttered**

**-000-**

Grand Giratina

"I really thought that this maze would be aesthetically pleasing on the inside…" Hoopa said as she rode on Terrakion's back.

"Oh like how you were using your portals to pleasure yourself? That kind of pleasing?" asked Yveltal, causing a few of the others to stifle laughs.

Hoopa blushed madly before summoning a portal, causing a weight to fall on the death bird's head.

"Real mature…" Mewtwo commented, folding his arms.

"Hey, he started it!"

"No, not that, the fact that you use your rings to do that instead of one of these other horny bastards…" Mewtwo said, making the other guys glare at him.

"That's not funny…" said Kyurem. "You know I don't do love…"

"Of course I know that, they know who I'm talking about…" said Mewtwo. "Mr. Steal my special bottle!"

"You're still mad about that!?" Terrakion exclaimed, a blush on his face. "I cleaned it off and offered to get you a new one. YOU refused!"

"Because you'll probably get one that's thicker!"

"OKAY!" Landorus exclaimed. He was one of the actual sane legendaries and didn't really care about the drama around the hall. Sure he participated sometimes, but he didn't really care. "We get it, sodomy, sex, relationships, boo-hoo, WE ALL KNOW! So why keep bringing it up if we're ON. THE SAME. TEAM."

The others stayed quiet. He was actually right.

"You're lucky you have no dirt…" said Entei.

"Don't test me…" Landorus threatened with a glare, making Entei gulp in fear.

"Alright, how about we all split up since we obviously can't stand being around each other that long…" said Kyogre.

"The ENTIRE team has to make it out for us to win…" said Palkia.

"I know that! I was gonna suggest that if some of us make it out, we have a little trail to come back in and find the rest of you…"

"And if the trail is compromised?" asked Azelf.

"...Then we're screwed."

"Exactly", said Azelf. "So, no splitting up…"

Kyogre groaned.

"Well, we're gonna be in here all DAAAAAAAAYYYYYY!" Shaymin exclaimed as she fell through the floor.

"What the-" Mesprit started, seeing the hole. "You've gotta be kidding me!"

"Well, they did say there were twists…" said Darkrai. "Can't say I'm not surprised."

"Um….should we help her?" Volcanion asked

"Nah, Sanic the hedgehog will be fine." Darkrai replied "Let's just keep go-!"

"Darkie!" Cresselia shouted as the dark-type legendary was blasted to the wall by a random high-pressure cannon

**-000-**

"**Nobody believed me until now, I told them high pressure is a bitch", Volcanion said shaking his head**

**-000-**

"**FML" Darkrai muttered holding his head**

**-000-**

Articuno was walking, literally walking as not being able to fly, along the floor as she took one step before a cannon came out of the wall and fired some sticky substance at her. It hit her at point blank range and stuck her to the other side of the wall. Like most people and Pokemon when caught in a trap, she tried to struggle but her whole entire body was trapped.

"A little help?!" Articuno exclaimed to her team

"Coming," Kavi said as he was about to use a move of his until he remembered

"Damn, I can't use moves…...hm," he poked the substance as he got a piece on his claw and curiously tasted it which tasted familiar and the texture reminded him of…..

"Really? Bubble Gum? That's all they could come up with?" Kavi gave a dull face

"Don't just stand there, get me out!" Articuno yelled

"Ok, relax. Looks like I am going to have to eat…...fuck…...I am going to have to eat this crap, I hate bubble gum though," Kavi sighed

"So?"

"Screw this," Kavi said as he began to eat, near her legs, ignoring the bubble gum as much as he could as he imagined himself bashing Keldeo's skull in with an axe.

"What are you doing?" Thunderus questioned as he saw Keldeo with a video camera

"An extremely steamy porn video this will be! Hmmmmmmm!" Keldeo replied.

"I WILL MURDER YOU!" Kavi exclaimed as he stopped.

"It was at this moment that you knew…..you fucked up," Keldeo said suddenly changing his voice

"What?" Kavi raised an eyebrow before he got hit in the…..genital area by a boxing glove

**-000-**

"So...who do you think is gonna win?" asked Giratina.

Arceus giggled. "My team will be victorious of course. Your team has the most hateful players...they won't care about teamwork…"

"Meanwhile, you have Mew, Victini, Raikou, Kavi, and Cobalion…" Giratina chuckled. "Don't make it seem like your team is gonna go through this easily…"

"Touche…"

**-000-**

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Palkia exclaimed as he was thrown into the wall. He groaned upon impact. Across from him was a large fan that was now retracting into the ground.

"Well, that was satisfying", Kyurem said with a smile.

Dialga walked over to Palkia to check on him as the others cautiously followed, now wary of all of the traps.

"Y'know they coulda just said there were traps, not just 'there are twists…'" said Virizion.

"You know those two care more about screwing and being alone than actually having common sense to tell us…" said Entei. "Fucking stupid…"

"Meanwhile you forced Raikou to screw you while he was trying to watch TV…" said Azelf. "Don't think we forgot, ya hypocrite…"

Entei grumbled with a blush.

**000**

"**No one really cares except for him and they know it…" Entei growled.**

**000**

"So, are we gonna start looking for Shaymin now or what?" asked Celebi.

"Yeah, I'd rather just do this in one go…" Lugia agreed.

"Here's the thing...you girls can look for her/him, but we're fucking leaving", said Yveltal as he, Kyurem, and Darkrai continued walking.

"Oh, I hope karma kicks their asses…" said Zapdos. "They don't always have to be some dark, negative, and brooding…"

"Two dark-types and one with a cold-heart...yeah, that's to be expected", said Zekrom. "But, at least if we lose we can easily boot out one of them."

"That's true…" Terrakion said, nodding.

"You're NOT eliminating Darkie!" Cresselia growled.

"Well, we'll have to see about that now won't we?" asked Virizion, making Cresselia glare at her.

**000**

"For the last time, it's not Ray-kwah-za." Rayquaza muttered

"Ray…..Kwe-za?" Deoxys questioned feigning stupidity causing him to facepalm.

"Arceus dammit….that fucking hurt!" Kavi groaned getting up still clutching his genital area

"The hell happened to you?"

"Oh, I had a premeneetion, a premeneetion that Brother Kavi will ignore thy broken brilliance and for that, in the pokemon of total, his nuts shall be DELETED!" Keldeo shouted in a strange accent before gnawing at the air.

Raikou gave Suicune a pissed look. "Really? Just really?"

Suicune scoffed. "Will you stop, already!?"

"And where is Articuno?" Moltres questioned.

"Stuck on the wall covered in gum…...the only way to get her out of it is to eat the gum", Kavi explained.

All the rest of the legendaries in Arceus's team backed away as Kavi sweatdropped.

"Seriously?"

"She's your girlfriend," Suicune said nonchalantly.

"She's not my girlfriend!"

"Denial!"

"Also for the fact that he has Virizion after him too," Victini whispered to Mew who laughed.

Kavi levitated away in anger looking like he was ready to kill someone.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"To find Articuno,"

"And finish her off I presume?" Cobalion joked.

"She's not my fucking girlfriend, failure to get laid!

"Watch it!" Cobalion growled. "Like I'd take lip from a slut like you!"

"Shots fired!" Latios exclaimed

"Slut?" Kavi asked before laughing. "Oh please! You're just jealous that I actually have girls that want me, while you have to jerk off to a picture of Virizion at night!"

"Wait, what?" Manaphy asked.

"Oh, I'm sorry, he jerks off to Virizion WHILE she's sleeping…" Kavi emphasized. "Didn't you see the hole in his wall next to the-"

"OKAY…..can we just finish the challenge and then you two can go back to your love hate relationship?" Xerneas asked.

"Whatever tranny deer." Kavi replied

Xerneas growled. "I am purely a female. You may have to direct that to Hoopa or Shaymin…"

"But only male deer have antlers, science says so," Uxie inquired.

"THIS IS POKEMON! SHIT LIKE THAT DOESN'T HAVE TO MAKE SENSE!"

"And there goes the fourth wall…" Ho-Oh said, stoically.

"You know what, fuck this," Kavi sighed as he floated away, tired of the shit his team had said.

"Heh, everything is going according to plan," Keldeo said to himself behind his team while they bickered amongst themselves.

Raikou heard him say this and glared.

**000**

"**According to plan? What plan?" Raikou questioned. "Don't tell me the dumb bastard is actually trying to act like a villain…"**

**He sighed.**

"**Welp, no use in saying shit, I've seen enough of soap operas to know that people won't believe shit you say if there's conflict between you and the perpetrator…"**

**-000-**

"**Soon, Brother Kavi will realize the true power that belongs to NERO! I must convert him and then my plans will truly succeed! MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Keldeo laughed quite loudly**

"**Um….you know that's not how-"**

"**QUIET PLEB! I WILL EAT YOU! AND I WILL DELETE YOU!" Keldeo shouted**

"**Um...that's the same thing pretty much…"**

"**...DELE-!"**

**-000-**

"**Just because i have some damn antlers does NOT mean I'm a male!" Xerneas shouted.**

**-000-**

"Shaymin?! You down there?!" Celebi called

"No shit onion fairy, of course the transgender is down there," Entei muttered

"I heard you gay ass cat!" Shaymin's voice.

"FUCK OFF!"

"Okay, Mewtwo, why don't you take Entei away, and we'll actually try to get her out of here…" Cresselia said.

"And why me, exactly?"

"Because I said so…"

"That means absolutely nothing...but whatever", Mewtwo said as he grabbed Entei's smoky 'cape' and started dragging him away.

"So, what are we gonna do?" asked Lugia. "The hole's pretty small and it looks like it's a tight fit…"

"That's what she-" Volcanion started before getting death glares from every female.

"Dude, not cool, seriously," Zapdos chuckled.

"Oh, so everyone else can talk and joke about each other's sex lives, but I can't make a classic joke?" Volcanion questioned.

"Exactly…" Kyogre said, making Volcanion groan.

"That's total bullshit!"

**-000-**

"Fuck this game and fuck them! I swear to…...sometimes I even wonder why the hell I was created in the first place. All I can fucking remember is some voice telling me I was destined for greatness like all those cliche superhero movies and doesn't give me any specific path to follow. Then boom, I'm created, and then shot down to the planet to find out who I am, what I was supposed to do and why the hell do I shift form when I'm pissed," Kavi growled in hatred as he was trying to calm down, eating the gum that Articuno was stuck in

"You stress yourself too much," Articuno observed

"And?"

"You put yourself in those situations of anger when you clearly could have avoided them. You try to put yourself up top like everyone else but that only hurts you and makes everyone think lowly of you." Articuno explained looking at the half legendary stop.

Kavi sighed, knowing she was right.

"I just…...I need to know what I was made to do. That's it," Kavi began again to eat the bubble gum as his mood made a one eighty to depression

That is till he stopped when there was hardly left but Articuno was still stuck to the wall, the remaining bubble gum remained on her body as his brain processed this and he immediately turned crimson.

"What?" Articuno gave him a questioning look

"I uh….in order to….well….in order to get you out…." the half legend turned around as he was stuttering.

"Say it already!"

"I got to eat it but it will involve a little…...touching….in certain areas"

Articuno immediately turned crimson as well as she didn't know what to say. She saw a camera at the opposite wall with the lens zooming in as Kavi turned to the camera and was not happy.

"You guys are fucked up!" Kavi yelled at a peeping camera, probably Arceus and Giratina watching.

"You are constantly walking in on us plus everyone in the hall just screws each other like Loppunnies in heat, so it really doesn't make any difference." Giratina said through a speaker hidden near the maze

"If I find this clip on the internet later, I will drag your dragon ass to another dimension where you won't be able to do shit unless I get you out!" Kavi growed grabbing the camera and ripping it off the wall

"Try me, oh, and that's a fake camera."

"Let's get this over with," Kavi muttered as his voice was more of a whisper, his face crimson again he looked nervous now

"Just….be gentle ok?" Articuno sheepishly told him

"I…...I…...I'll try….."

"WOOO TEAM VALOR!"

"Naw, if he's banging Articuno, he's clearly Team Mystic," an intern muttered on his phone

"SHUT UP!"

**-000-**

"**I worry that his anger will make the worst of him, and then he won't be able to calm down anymore. One time, he almost blew up half the Hall of Origins because of Raikou and Cobalion making fun of him, it took Arceus to send him to a different dimension to calm down. I can't understand how it would feel to be lost in the universe like him, but I hope I can help him before it's too late," Articuno said a little bit concerned**

"**Sounds like what a girlfriend would say,"**

"**We're not to-..."**

"**Right, and babies aren't made through sex."**

"**Well, there's inseme-"**

"**NOPE!"**

**-000-**

"**Ok, watching them really makes me want to have fun too, even though they aren't actually doing it," Giratina murmured.**

"**...What is wrong with you legendaries?" spoke an intern behind the camera**

**-000-**

"Ok seriously!? No one can come down and get me?!" Shaymin yelled

"Well we can't fly out, that's the thing. Isn't there like tunnels where you are at?" Hoopa replied

"I can't see anything down here!"

"Why don't you go in there? You can see underwater," Lugia suggested

"You can too and seeing underwater doesn't mean I can see in the pitch darkness," Latias retorted

"Touche,"

"Somebody!" they heard Shaymin yell

"I wonder if Arceus's team has this problem," Mesprit facepalmed

"More than likely yes." Hoopa answered

:"Well as long as they are no worse than how we're doing now, we still have a shot at winning this thing." Landorus stated before walking off

"Who died and made you leader?" Kyurem spoke, growling at the Ground/Flying type

"Who said I was?

"Exactly, now-"

"Nobody have time for this." sighed Cresselia as she and the others began to walk away from Kyurem leaving him irritated and confused

**-000-**

"**What's my issue with Landorus? Nothing, I just don't like him." Kyruem explained**

"**But you don't like anyone!" a voice shouted outside**

**-000-**

"When you try your best, but you don't succee-"

"SHUT UP!" Jirachi exclaimed. "Now is not the time!"

"Hey, it's better than Meloetta's singing…" Uxie commented.

"Hey, she sings just fine, you just prefer that classical junk…" Reshiram commented.

"Whatever you say…" Uxie said, rolling his eyes.

"Okay, at this point I really want to just go back to the hall. This game fucking sucks…" Thundurus said.

"It's just the second challenge…

"My point exactly…" he responded. "They know we can't be this close with each other or bullshit emerges and we all get annoyed…"

"You think they care?" asked Victini. "Arceus probably has Giratina pleasing her as we speak."

"I sure as hell don't intend on quitting, that makes me look like a coward and Articuno makes fun of me for an entire year whenever I chicken out," Moltres grumbled.

"When do you care about what anyone says?" asked Manaphy.

"Trust me, it bothers the hell out of me. Especially when Zapdos adds to it…"

"Uh huh…" Articuno said. "You act like he really means what he says…"

"Hey, it's annoying when you two always have something to say when it doesn't concern you…"

"And this is what I'm talking about…" Thundurus said, gesturing to them.

"Okay, can we just shut the hell up and keep moving, then?" asked Rayquaza, fed up himself.

After some unfruitful attempts to get out of the maze, the Arceus' were getting increasingly frustrated as more traps were unveiled such as punching gloves, giant fans, quicksand and even more bad traps that the lords of the legendaries came up with.

"So...uh...you guys care to explain what happened back there with the gum?" Raikou said.

"Shut it," Kavi and Articuno muttered

"You two don't want to talk about it?" Latios continued smirking

"No," was Kavi's response.

Then Kavi punched Latios in the gut before levitating away as Latios muttered some curses.

"Well this couldn't get any-damn it!" Suicune was saying before the floor beneath her shocked her

"Just one step in front of the other~," sang Keldeo walking through the maze just fine

"Can I kill him now?" Kavi asked dodging an axe and ripping it off the wall, ready to kill

"No, even if he is a retard. Besides, we can't die, we just revive or something," Xerneas answered him

"Not if your Latios, or Celebi, or Darkrai."

"Hey!"

"Oh yeah….Arceus almost died once too…"

"SHUT UP!"

"My point is that we can die, it's just harder to kill us. Just let me take that head off his shoulders and I'm sure I did everyone a giant favor."

"NO MURDER!"

"OH COME ON! GIVE ME ONE REASON TO LET THIS IDIOT LIVE!"

"We need that one dumbass in the group for things to be actually considered normal…"

"Fair enough," sighed the half legend.

"FOR NARNIA!" Keldeo yelled a battle cry running around as traps activated but not a single one hit him

"Are you serious?! How the hell has this guy been able to not get hit?" Uxie questioned not being able to understand the randomness.

"I am Keldeo and I love tacos!"

"Can I just have your obliviousness?" asked Mew. "It'll make my life way easier…"

"Uh…..what did shaved cat say?" asked Keldeo stupidly with one of his pupils going down while the other went up.

"OK,something is seriously wrong with you."

Keldeo shook his head for a moment and glared "No, you do not understand my broken brilliance."

"Something is broken alright…."

"Just let me kill him for one day, and all this will be over," Kavi silently prayed to himself.

"Deoxys already tried that when she tried altering his DNA so….."

"Hey guys, I think I found a way out," Ho-oh stated pointing to their left as he went ahead a little bit.

**000**

"So, Tornadus, can't you just go in and get Shaymin?" Cresselia asked

"I don't fit, I don't think even Mesprit or Azelf could fit either, they're too round," Tornadus replied.

"Giggity…." Cobalion said jokingly

"I will strangle you if you say that again…" Virizion threatened.

"...Giggity…."

"Yeah just like she would like to strangle Articuno for taking her man," Mesprit whispered to Azelf.

"Aren't we supposed to be genderless anyways so we're aren't technically a man or woman?: Azelf mentioned as the group ran into another dead end

"Supposedly, but you know if we asked Uxie, then he would give us this long and boring story about it," Mesprit rolled her eyes.

"And the Arceus wins!" Arceus shouted happily.

"WHAT!?"

The Giratina's were teleported to the end of the maze where Giratina did not look happy at all.

"You losers suck, elimination will start in a half hour, so prepare which one of you rejects will be rejected."

"Um, is that even a proper sentence?" Uxie questioned

"NO ONE ASKED YOU!"

**-000-**

"KELDEO!" Raikou shouted

Raikou sees Keldeo playing on a piano, confused as to why the water colt would play a piano and how he could even play it. Keldeo had no fingers to play it correctly as he had hooves and the sight of the colt's eyes disturbed him as they were filled with…..something. Even stranger, in his mane was a white streak that was through the middle of the mane.

"Brother Raikou….I'd knew you'd come!" Keldeo exclaimed in glee.

Raikou twitched.

"I'm sure you want to kn-" Keldeo was cut off by a Thunder attack, causing him to groan in pain. "Ow….hey, that's not fair! You didn't let me fin-IIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSHHHHHH!" he screamed as Raikou did it again.

"I don't have time for your stupid games…" he said, getting closer. "I never had a problem with you. Hell, I thought you were cool as hell when you first joined, but when you and Suicune started to act all strange and sneaky together…yeah….that didn't sit well with me."

"Hey, you can't blame me for that! She's the one who flirted with me first!"

"Wait, she WHAT?!"

Enraged, Raikou stormed off to find Suicune, leaving a confused Keldeo to try and recover.

"That's only part of it Brother Rai-AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Keldeo screamed upon being hit again. "Soon, armageddon will be upon us in the FINAL DELET-IAAAAAAH!"

**000**

"**She's been lying to me...she's been fucking cheating on me with a fucking RETARD!" Raikou exclaimed.**

"**Uh...that's offensive…"**

"**NO ONE CARES!"**

**-000-**

"**He didn't even let me finish! How rude! Oh well, it seems that Brother Raikou won't listen to reason….I should've expected that. Looks like I have no choice but to set up the field of battle….SENIOR BENJAMIN!"**

"**KELDEO! IF YOU DON'T STOP I WILL RIP YOUR HORN OFF AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS!" Raikou roared from outside.**

"**LET ME HAVE FUN!"**

"**FUN!? FUN!? I'LL SHOW YOU FUN! " Raikou shouted trying to break in the confessional.**

"**Brother Raikou! It's OVAH!" Keldeo shouted as he looks like he's preparing something, however Raikou broke inside.**

"**OH SHIT!"**

"**You're damn right, oh shit!"**

**-000-**

All the Giratinas were gathered at the campfire where Giratina still looked unhappy but Arceus looked pleased.

"Alright, since you losers suck and I don't want to deal with you long, we'll make it quick today," Arceus began smiling, if she could, happily that her team won today

"I counted the votes myself…..not surprised to say that non-emotional ice dragon is going home, get out," Giratina muttered annoyed

"Happy to oblige," Kyurem replied as he was glad he didn't have to do this stupid game show

"See ya later loser," Zekrom smirked

"At least I'll get to watch you fail miserably turbine ass," the ice dragon replied.

"Just get out ice bitch," Kyurem was pushed onto the Rocket of Shame and fired away to who knows where

**-000-**

"Damn I'm tired," Kavi yawned laying down on his new bed which was way better than yesterday's since the team won.

"Probably because you 'ate' Articuno out of that trap," Latios smirked as Kavi gave him a death glare.

"At least I got somewhere while Cobalion hasn't gotten anywhere with Virizion."

"Hey!" Cobalion growled looking out the window

"Still spying on Virizion like a creeper, dude get over her!" Rayquaza said.

"Yeah because she's trying to get all over Kavi's D," Victini added.

"Shut up!" Cobalion yelled

"I smell jealousy!" Mew added in

"Alright, pipe down everyone, let's get some sleep after some dinner," Ho-Oh stated.

"Fine," the other guys nodded.

**Knight: Another chapter from us, I hope you enjoyed this, you should anyway. More drama as always**

**SD: Love triangles, new relationships, and soon the same old jazz **

**Dark: Yeah….stuff.**


End file.
